A Dance

 I twisted my fingers nervously in my hands.

 Breathe in, Breathe out, I reminded myself.

 Music blared from the speakers; my ears rang since I was standing right in front of them.

“Alright, gentlemen, ask some of the pretty ladies in the corner to dance with ya’ll. Don’t be shy.” The announcers' thick southern accent made me wish that I had never come in the first place.

 I didn’t fit in here. I didn’t know how to dance for crying out loud!

 I was also, very much, dragged here by my best friend. I looked at her as she danced with wild abandon with her partner who she had just met. He had taken an interest in her and now they were dancing. Their smiles were so bright, I wondered if there was such a thing as love at first sight.

 Nonsense.

 I shook my head to myself; I had never believed that. Not once.

“Would you like to dance?” I heard a voice say beside me.

 My knee jerk reaction was about to say no as I looked into a friendly looking man’s eyes. I glanced at my friend who was having fun.

“Sure,” I placed my hand into this man’s outstretched ones. My own pale skin seemed to become tanner as his even paler skin contrasted against mine.

 He led me onto the dance floor, and I saw my best friend wink at me and give me a subtle thumbs-up.

 I turned to face him.

 He was slightly taller than me, but not by much, which was not saying much since my height was closer to short than average. He had auburn hair that was smoothed back with heavy gel. I tried focusing on his most pleasant features, which were his dark eyes, but his stare was becoming unnerving.

“So,” I saw him mouth. He continued to speak, but I couldn’t hear him as he pulled me into a waltz position.

 I frowned, I didn’t know how to dance, but I was pretty sure the song that was playing was not a waltz.

 You always have to let the guy guide you, my best friend’s words echoed in my mind. So, I tried to let him, but it was quickly clear to me that this guy had no idea how to dance either.

 I bit my frustration, regretting that I had agreed to come to this party in the first place.

“So, what’s your name?” I tried to be friendly.

“WHAT?” He yelled.

“WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” I yelled back.

“I’M –” His words got lost as another couple rammed into my partner’s shoulder.

“NICE TO MEET YOU.” I yelled back, even though I had no idea what he said.

 I felt ridiculous, it reminded me of speaking to my grandma who was partially deaf.

 His face was suddenly way to close to mine for comfort. I flinched, pulling back.

“SORRY!”

 I gave him a tight smile; this was so awkward on so many levels.

 Pain shot up my leg and I let out a small cry of pain that was lost in the sea of loud music. I looked down to see that he had stepped on me.

“I AM SO SO SORRY!” He yelled.

“THAT’S OKAY.” I yelled back, and then proceeded to wish that I had rejected his offer.

 His palm was sweaty and sticky in my right hand and he was standing too close for comfort. The smell of someone’s sweat made me wrinkle my nose. His hand at my waist was loose but still made me uncomfortable.

 I didn’t try to make small talk again and was thankful that he seemed to agree.

 Please let this song be over! I thought to myself as I gave him polite smiles every time he messed us up.

 When the song was finally over, he spun me around and just as I thought he was going to catch me, he let go of me. I fell against him, and he awkwardly tried to catch me.

“Sorry,” He quickly put space between us. My cheeks flamed in embarrassment, but also mortification. 

 Why had he asked me to dance when he didn’t know how?

 I quickly left the dance floor, not bothering to let him escort me as was customary.

 I felt a hand grip my elbow and turned to face my all too-knowing best friend. I shot her a glare.

“What?” She asked innocently. The man she had been dancing with was trailing closely behind her.

“I am never coming to one of these dances again.” I said in a low whisper.

“Come on, it’s not that bad. You just need to dance with the right guy.” She beamed at me.

“Who would happen to be…?” I asked sarcastically.

 She shrugged, “You never know.” And with that she was whisked off by her partner onto the dance floor.

 After a couple of minutes, I started feeling stuffy within the confines of the ballroom. I looked around to see that a slow dance had started.

 And that’s my cue to leave, I thought to myself.

 I started to make my way out of the room when a warm hand wrapped around my forearm.

“May I have this dance?” A low voice spoke.

“No-” I began to say as I spun to face the man speaking to me. My eyes widened as I stared into a deep pool of chocolate eyes.

“No?” His eyes held mirth.

“Y-yes.” I shook my head. Was I seeing things? Why was he model good-looking? My eyes frantically searched the people around me.

 They were all staring.

 But not at me.

 At the man in front of me.

“Which is it? Yes or no?” That deep voice was doing things to my stomach I couldn’t understand. His smile was blindingly beautiful.

 I swallowed, averting my gaze, “Yes.”

“Thank you.”

 My eyes swung up to his. He was thanking me?

 He held out his arm and I hesitantly placed my left hand on it. Ah! He was tall!

 He gently took my hand in his and rested his other hand against my waist. It was a gentle touch, nothing like the previous man.

 We slowly began to sway back and forth. I closed my eyes and found myself following his lead. He was smooth, not breaking or messing up once. I felt myself stumble, and he gently pressed his hand a little harder against my waist, guiding me in the right direction.

“Sorry.” I mumbled.

“You’re okay.” He answered, guiding us once more.

 When I finally dared to look up at him, his expression was soft, and a smile played at his lips.

 I felt myself blush.

 He was so attractive! Why had he chosen to dance with me? I had no idea.

 A snuck another glimpse at him, his eyes had strayed, allowing me to study him.

 His dark almond shaped eyes looked about the room curiously. He had a strong defined jaw, tan skin that was flawless, perfect shaped lips, and a strong straight nose.

 My gaze trailed back to his eyes to find myself under his perusal. I felt myself blush, but I could not break away his gaze.

 He seemed to be taken his time studying my own face. I had no idea what he saw there. My hair was dark laying around my shoulders in waves, my eyes were a plain brown, the rest of my features were average, at least I believed so.

 In a swift movement, he spun me around, my dress flared around my knees, and this time, he caught me perfectly.

 He dipped me back slightly as the song ended.

 He let go of me, and then proceeded to offer his arm, escorting me back to where I had been.

“Thank you for the dance.” He bowed.

 Surprised, I stared at him, unsure of what to do.

“Thank you.” I mumbled, glancing around, and searching for my best friend. When I found her, she was staring at me, mouth agape.

“If you would allow it,” his deep voice dragged me back to his gaze, he was staring at me intensely, “I would like to have lunch with you sometime.”

This cannot be happening, my mind screamed in my head.

 I blinked several times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

“Uh…” I trailed off, suddenly panicked, “sure.” I squeaked out.

 His smile had me losing my balance, “Here.” He handed me a piece of paper, “I have written my number on it.”

 I tucked the paper into my hands, “Thank you.”

 With one last smile, he left the room.

 I stared after him, unsure of what had happened.

 Looking down at the piece of paper, it read: To the most beautiful girl I have ever met, I look forward to hearing from you.

 My cheeks heated and my heart pounded out of my chest.

 Was I brave enough to contact him?

FIVE YEARS LATER

 A heavy arm was laying across my waist as I awoke.

 I felt feather-light brushes against my hair, ear, cheek, neck.

“Mmm.” I slowly opened my eyes.

“Good morning, Love.”

 Pain in my stomach had me wincing.

“How are you feeling today?” My husband’s rough voice from sleep was concerned as he caressed my shoulder.

"Not good.” I whispered.

 He gently pulled me closer, “Any better than yesterday?”

 I slowly shook my head.

 His grip on me tightened.

 We both knew that the inevitable was coming. The doctor had made it clear that I did not have much time left. Every day I awoke in fear that this would be my last day with him.

 It wasn’t so much the fear of dying that terrified me, but the fear of never seeing him again.

“I love you.” I reminded him almost every morning.

“I love you, too.” The intensity of his voice had my eyes tearing up.

 I didn’t want to leave. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not the next day.

“Are you hungry?” He asked.

“No.” I replied.

“Can you try to eat something?”

“No.” I answered.

“For me?” He pleaded.

 I pressed my lips together; I could never win an argument with him.

 He pressed his lips against my shoulder, “Thank you.”

 Gingerly, he started slipping away from my embrace.

 Before he could leave, I slowly turned around, ignoring the harsh pain in my stomach that was beginning to make me nauseous.

 With all the strength that I could muster, I gripped his white t-shirt, “Don’t go.” My voice wobbled and I squeezed them closed afraid.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He replied in a low whisper, “I’m right here. With you.”

 I rested my head against his chest, letting go of his shirt, too weak to keep my hold.

 He pressed a kiss to my forehead and then said, “I’ll grab you something to eat from the kitchen. Okay?”

 I nodded and he slipped away.

 Slowly, I leaned back against the bed. I closed my eyes, focusing on breathing.

 Breathe in. Breathe out. I told myself repeatedly.

 I could hear noises coming from the kitchen down the hall.

 A few minutes later, I heard heavy footsteps. The smell of food had my stomach rumbling, but then nausea overtook it. I covered my mouth with my hands.

 I heard him set a plate down on the nightstand.

 A moment later, he had scooped me into his strong arms, “Can you eat something?”

 I slowly opened my eyes, focusing on what was in front of me.

 Medicine, soup, crackers, water.

 I shook my head.

“What about some crackers?”

 I bit my lip, unsure.

 His arms moved around me, retrieving the crackers. He opened the package and then popped one into his mouth, “Now you.”

 I shook my head.

“Just one?”

 I chewed at my lip and then let him feed me. It was not as unpleasant as I expected. I was just terrified that I would not be able to hold it down for long. My stomach no longer functioned normally, deteriorating my body quickly.

“That’s a good girl.” He praised.

 I buried my head in the crook of his neck.

“You need your morning medication.”

 I shook my head; this was the worst part.

“Let’s try this one first.”

 I peeked my head out, but then wrinkled my nose. I hated the taste of that one the most.

 I could no longer swallow pills, so everything had been reduced to liquid.

 I felt his muscles move underneath me as he uncapped the bottle and measured it.

“Can you open your mouth for me?” He asked, ever the gentleman.

 I did not respond.

“Please?”

 After a long moment, I finally opened my mouth, and he fed it to me.

 He continued giving me the other medications.

 At the very end, he said, “Thank you.”

 I looked into his dark eyes, “I should be thanking you.”

 His endearing smile lit up his face, “You have given me the opportunity to ease your pain a little more. And that is more significant than you know.”

 A knot at the base of my throat settled and would not let go.

 He was the absolute sweetest. Never once complained of the begging he did. Never once did he lose his patience. Always sacrificed so much so that I could be happier and more comfortable.

 I pressed a kiss to his jaw, “Thank you for loving me.”

 I pulled back to see a sheen of tears coating his eyes.

 Picking me up into his arms, he swept me into the living room.

“Where are we going?”

“A dance.” He answered, his voice rough with emotion.

“What?”

 When we entered the living room, I noticed he had moved the furniture away from the center.

 He gently set me down on a couch, and then proceeded to fiddle with his phone.

 Music began to play from the speakers he had installed in the house.

 My mind recognized the song that we had danced to when we met.

 Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks.

 Scooping me into his arms, he started swaying back and forth. I clasped my hands around his neck, watching as his own tears mirrored my own.

 We have to make the most of every day, he had once told me when we had found out I was sick. And every day, he did something out of the ordinary for me.

“Do you know what I thought the first time my eyes landed on you?”

 I shook my head, knowing that although I knew the answer, he was going to tell me anyway, “What?”

“That you were the most beautiful girl my eyes had ever seen.” His grin was contagious, “It was then that I fell in love with you.”

“I don’t believe you.” I told him playfully.

“Don’t you remember what my note said?”

“No.” I stated innocently.

 He laughed, “Now you’re just messing with me.”

 I laughed, “Maybe.”

 He spun us around, “You were and still are the most beautiful woman I have ever met.”

 I rested my head against his shoulder, “You are just biased.”

 I felt his shrug, “Maybe, but I know for a fact that there were many men staring at you at the dance that day.”

“I don’t think so, they didn’t ask me to dance.”

“You really don’t know what goes on in the mind of men, do you?”

 I wrinkled my nose, “No, and I don’t want to know.”

 He laughed, shaking the both of us, “That’s fair.”

 The song was beginning to end, and I tightened my arms around his neck. His grip tightened as well.

 The song ended, and I felt exhausted from clinging on to him.

“Can you put me down?” I whispered.

 He was quick, but gentle, to set me down on the couch, “Are you feeling worse?”

 Kneeling on the couch, he set his hand against my forehead.

 I pushed his hand away, “No, I’m okay.”

“What’s wrong?”

 I looked away, hating that almost every day I thought of this.

 He gently cupped my cheek, “Tell me.”

“I don’t want to leave.” A tear slipped out and trailed down my cheek.

 He pressed a kiss against my forehead, “I don’t want you to leave, either. It kills me that you are in so much pain. If I could, I would take your place.”

 I shook my head, “No. Don’t.” Looking away, I bit my lip, “Will you promise me something?”

“What is it?”

 I lifted my gaze towards his, “Promise me that you will find happiness again once I’m gone.”

 His eyes became drawn, and he no longer met my gaze.

 I lifted my hands to place them on either side of his face, “Please. For me.” Tears blurred my vision and fell down my face onto my lap.

“Love,” His voice broke, his dark eyes swimming in tears, “Don’t ask me that.”

“I love you.” I emphasized each word, “and because I do, I’m begging you to find happiness. Find someone else who will make you happy.”

“No.” his voice was hard, “Never.”

 I bit my lip once more, “Please.”

 He didn’t answer, just placed his hands on either side of me and leaned in to place his lips against mine.

 The kiss was gentle at first, as if he was being cautious, knowing that I was fragile, but as I matched his own strength it quickly became more desperate and quicker.

 I was the first to break away from him, my lungs labored. He continued to trail kisses onto my cheek, jaw, ear, and then neck.

“Love, please.” I begged him.

“No, I cannot.” His voice was unyielding. He cupped my face in his hands.

 I met those precious eyes that I had fallen in love with, “If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you do the same?”

 He looked away.

“Just remember what I said.” I said softly.

 He scooped me into his arms and carried me back to our room.

 Settling me back in my usual side of the bed, he said, “Get some rest. You’ve exerted yourself too much.”

 I closed my eyes, my head resting against my pillow, “Stay with me?”

 I felt his presence settle behind me, “I’ll be here.”

 I turned to rest my head against his shoulder, “I love you.” I had vowed to always tell him so before I went to sleep.

“I love you, too.” He pressed a kiss against my head, “I will always love you.” The fierceness in his voice made my heart squeeze in my chest.

Ignoring the pain in my stomach, I fell asleep knowing that there would never be another who I would love as much as I did him.