Burnt Out
So, lately, I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been feeling pretty burnt out.
I think school has been picking up since I got back from break, I’ve been writing A TON for my new novel and it’s emotionally drained me. Not to mention, all the extra activities I’ve been doing in my personal and academic life.
It sucks.
I’m also really resolved. I want this novel to be the next best thing I’ve ever created. I want to do well in my studies because I am so incredibly close to being done. I want to go and hang out with friends because I love them and they’re so important to me. I want to love my family well which is why I’m spending time with them over the phone even if sometimes I don’t really feel like it. I also want to spend time with Jesus because I know He gives me the strength that I don’t have.
This amount of writing has sucked out all of my energy and I find myself with a bit of writer’s block. Not because I don’t know what I want to write next, but because I’ve just done so much of it that I don’t know if I can keep going. I think it’s also difficult because I don’t see immediate results. I think that is the worst part of all. I put so much effort and haven’t seen results.
Why?
I then remind myself the goal. It’s to reach and publish for an audience that needs to hear hopeful words through a work of art that is not preachy in any way and is engaging. That’s what I really want. It’s just so easy to get lost in what I feel and what I think.
I want to be real and honest as I share my writing journey. It’s not all cupcakes and rainbows. It’s not all mushy feelings and ecstatic realization that the characters are so cute (they are ;) ), but it takes hard work just like any job in the world. I would argue, though, that the artist feels more and examines those emotions without letting them pass by. That is definitely one of the exhausting parts of the whole writing journey.
Looking up to my goal makes it all worth it, because in the end it’s not all for me. It’s for you - for those people reading this and wanting a connection to know that they’re not alone.
You’re not alone.