Big Brothers
Romance is not everything in the world.
Yeah, I know it’s a strong statement. But I want to emphasize it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s shocking that this girl, right here, is not talking about romantic stuff but I learned a lot during the summer.
To be honest, especially for those who know me, you know that I've been through a lot. Some day - not today - I will be able to share my raw story and all of its messiness. Today, I will share a small snippet of my wounds.
If you’ve read One More Chance you probably know just how weary Aveline was of all men (except her father). She was mistrustful and it was difficult for her to warm up to the idea of Dustin being a genuine good man. That’s the basic premise of the story for those of you who haven’t read it.
She reflected a lot of my fears during high school. I had one terrible experience with a guy friend of mine and it ruined my perception of a lot of guys, especially when it turned out that they were immature and only sought to make my life worse.
Three years ago, I realized that there was this very deep and real fear in me when it came to hanging out with guys. The only exceptions were my two younger brothers. I hated being around them because I always felt uncomfortable. I realized that it was a cause of childhood trauma and my own insecurities, but it didn’t make it any easier.
So, when I was at Camp Gray for the first summer, I avoided them and found that I could become friends with them. I still kept them at arms-length, though. Then, I went back to Camp Gray for the second time and everything changed.
Two male-friends took me under their wing.
It wasn’t like we would have deep conversations and hang out for extensive periods of time. It was just that through my every day activities that I had to do, they were always looking out for me in one way or another. I asked them for advise, communicated my worries, had meals with them, and just enjoyed their company. It wasn’t until the end of the summer that I realized just how much they meant to me. One of them left early and it was then that it hit me with full force just how much our friendship meant. It wasn’t any easier saying goodbye to the other one.
Yes, I cried, and I remember thinking that it was the strangest thing because I only viewed them as older brothers, yet it still hurt so very much.
Looking back at it, I realized that God used them to heal those wounds. Before, there was so much fear of being around men. Now, there was a certainty that I could be loved - in a healthy way - by my male friends. I’m not automatically comfortable with guys, but I have learned what it means to have a true brotherly friendship with them and they always got my back.
If you couldn’t tell, I love them a lot!
So, all this to say that there are ways to have beautiful friendships with other men that aren’t romantically inclined.
If you have any thoughts about this topic, I would love to hear from you!
Also, feel free to check out the short fictional story/scene that I wrote dedicated to them here.