He deserves better

(This one is for the ladies out there)

Do you see him?

Do you really see your male friend, brother, boyfriend, father, or husband?

Now, what do I mean by this? Do you remember how in my Shattered post I had spoken about my former crush and how he had shattered this fantasy-filled expectation of men?

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with him for the first time in a long time. I honestly wasn’t expecting to have a conversation with him at all since I was focused on spending time with my friends. I just remembering seeing him and wondering if I should say something (there was a moment I was left on my own with him while he was working on something and I was sitting to the side).

I think it was in that moment where my first thought was you should be polite but more than that there was a soft whisper of Look. See my child. It was then that it was like that veil of “potentiality” fell from my eyes and I just saw him. So, I took the time and asked him about how he was doing. He shared a lot. And I mean, it felt like a really long conversation.

The entire thing was so unexpected. At the end of the conversation, I was glad that I had asked. No, I definitely don’t have a crush on him anymore, but it was there where I was actually seeing him. Unlike before, there was this idea of who he could be, what he could be for me. But now? Now, it was actually taking the time to listen to what was on his mind, on his heart, and to really listen.

And I know it meant something to him. Why? Because he later took the time to intentionally thank me for our conversation. I felt like I hadn’t even really contributed much to the conversation, but I’m glad I took the time.

So (to all the women out there), do you do this? Do you take the time to really see the men in your life or just think of what they can do for you? I know that (especially for the young single women), it’s easy to just look at the young men around you and automatically categorize them if you would or wouldn’t think of dating them. Maybe you easily discard the thought of getting to know them because of a certain way they look, a certain way they act, or even a fleeting interaction you’ve had with them. Sometimes it’s easy to make up some story about who they are in our heads especially if we like them.

What can be so wrong about all of this?

It’s that we’re not taking the time to actually see the child of God that he is. We’re just looking at some idealized version of what we superficially see. Don’t they deserve better?

I challenge you to actually take the time to have a conversation or get to know those men in your life that we can easily dismiss because of prejudices. This can also apply to siblings and father figures in our life. They are human, too. And they definitely deserve to be loved.

You are in my prayers,