Fulfilled Longings

Like most entries, I’m going to start with a story.

Last week, I was speaking with a parent at my work. I found out that we had so much in common. I felt so touched by the way she immediately made me feel seen and important. When last Friday came around, she asked me if I would be willing to be a guest speaker for a talk that she was going to give. I was so honored that she really considered me for this and told her that I would be willing to give this talk. She said she would ask for permission.

Monday came around and I didn’t hear from her, but I had a gut feeling something might happen. When she arrived at school that day she asked me if I would still be willing to give the talk. I got SO nervous. Like my hands turned so cold and I felt my face pale.

I’ve done this before. I’ve done it since I was fourteen. Giving talks is nothing new to me. But for some reason, I was so nervous. Maybe it was because I kind of knew these girls. I felt so vulnerable. But I did it anyway.

I went and waited until this parent introduced me to the girls and asked that I step in and give a small talk. I legitimately had nothing prepared. Not really. I knew what I was passionate about. I knew the kind of message I wanted these girls to hear, but I had no idea how I was going to do it.

So, I remember stepping in front of them and then being corrected to speak louder. (I get really quiet when I get really nervous) I shook off my nerves and spoke about the first thing that came to mind. My tragic friendship with a boy so long ago.

The girls were captivated. They listened to my story. Listened to me talk about my writing and why I journal. It was at the end of the talk where I just encouraged them to write, to listen to their heart through their own thoughts, and to hear the voice of God.

It made me so happy! I felt like the longings of my heart had been heard. This is what I want - to speak to the girls and share with them how I empathize with their struggles. I told them one of the hardest points in my life where my heart was broken. And they cared enough to pay attention and to be interested in my writing.

Doing this work made me feel seen by God. I felt so loved, and it wasn’t like someone was doing something for me. It was the opposite. Yet, I felt so fulfilled.

I encourage you to try and find what it is that fulfills you. I’m not talking about what you like or what is fun. I’m talking about what fulfills you. What makes you smile and makes you feel like “This. This is what I’m made for.”

You might find it in the most unexpected of places :)